Days full of tiny but valuable interactions

So today I was tired for much of the day. I felt like I was on the edge of sleep all day and it wasn’t until after we all went out for lunch and I asked if the person driving would mind going to Tim Horton’s on the way back that I felt at least a little awake. Now, though, it’s after 11:00 and I feel like I am waking up a bit. I can tell I am tired, though, because my motivation level and persistance level is at a low point.

After Paul had the last of his computer time at 8:30, I got on and started to play around musically – first with “Fruity Loops” which started to bug me because somehow all of the sliders and dials locked totally up and there seems to be no way to unlock them and nothing online about this issue. I wasn’t awake enough, though, to go looking for the installation CD and try just starting from scratch. So I switched to Acid 4.0. That one worked a little better except there was like a full second of latency between when you hit a key and when the sound came out of the speakers. I tweaked a little here and there and got to a point I was happy with with nearly instant response. So I started putting some stuff together that I had going through my head. No luck, though, I could play but it wasn’t recording anything. Tweak a little more and try to be good natured about it and finally I got it to work. But at that point I found that somehow it decided to record the keyboard in a really strange way such that when I played it it sounded normal but when I played it back it decided to slide between notes in a really irritating way. After fighting that long I decided that I am very likely too tired for anything that requires I learn anything new. I’m just too tired. How do people accomplish anything substantial after 11:00?

Tonight, I did get a little something done – I managed to distract Paul away from his audiobook and legos. This is a significant feat as lately that has been his evening routine which has evolved into our working side by side. It is rather lonely – somewhat more lonely, I think, than really being alone out here. So tonight, I somehow (don’t even ask me how) enticed him into helping make our dinner. We had a really tasty vegetarian shepherd’s pie. I peeled and boiled a bunch of potatoes and then he pretty much took it from there. Being a vegetarian version it could hardly get any easier to make. I took about 5 medium potatoes, made mashed potatoes out of them, then took a casserole dish. Or rather, Paul did. Into that we put a mixture of cream and whole kernel corn and a whole package of “veggie ground round”. Since it is vegetarian and pre-cooked it didn’t need to be fried. Mix the “beef” and corn together. Top with potatoes, bake covered with foil at 350°F for 20 minutes then remove foil and cook for another 5 minutes. That’s it, folks. Can’t get much easier than that.

Sadly, it looks as if I need to go to the dentist soon. I have a “twinge” – the kind of thing that mostly doesn’t even feel like anything but every once in a while is a little sensitive. I want to deal with it now before it turns into something that keeps me up at night and requires a root canal. I really don’t want to find a new dentist and of course hate going anyway. I wish I could just fly to Albuquerque and go to our old dentist there. He was great. With any luck we can find someone as nice (i.e. not scolding!) and more importantly as gentle as he was. Hey Andrea, perhaps you could suggest that your dentist practice here on alternate weeks or something. Sounds like you have found someone decent.

I’m just going to say again how glad I am to no longer be driving a car. I think even if I were to be given a company car and a gas credit card I would still take the bus. Lately there has been really good people watching. Mostly nothing really outrageous, just little moments that sort of make my day. This morning there was a woman who was doing a very elaborate dance to her walkman – performing for a friend of hers. Yesterday morning it was a man who was wearing an expensive suit brushing his teeth on the bus platform as he waited for his bus. Two nights ago it was the older gentleman who got on the subway, walked up to a closed door (on the side of the car that doesn’t usually open at this point) and then had an animated conversation with his reflection. Another day, when I got on the bus an older man was chatting with the driver. He talked of having been a preacher when he was younger and then, much to the discomfort of everyone on the bus, he began to sing southern-style gospel music at the top of his lungs as everyone looked at each other but definitely not at him. As I got off the bus he was telling the driver about his experience playing professional hockey with Tim Horton. And it isn’t just the passengers, either. There’s one subway operator who sings each stop. On another day, a bus driver gave the pre-flight checklist while a second driver told everyone about “Today in History” as he pulled into the subway station.

See, if I were to go back to driving a car, not only would I be spending more money, I think my life would be much more lonely and way more boring. My day is filled with a million little interactions with people – bus drivers, other passengers whose face I recognize and whom I greet with a nod and smile, clerks at the various Tim Hortons’ along the way. Mostly the interactions are literally a moment – at most a quick inquiry about how to get somewhere. A couple days ago outside of work I met a learning-disabled man (oh, hell, I’m sure there’s some more politically correct way to say that) who often is outside where I work. Every time I see him he asks if the next day will be a nice one, shows me how he can read various signs or asks my opinion of various things he’s done “I just pulled all that grass up over there – is that good?” Yesterday, he told me that the Red Sox were playing the Blue Jays and somehow got on the subject of Boston. In passing I mentioned the name “Fenway Park” and he asked me many times to repeat it, where it was, where Boston was, which direction (Southeast) and how big it was. After several iterations he seemed to have it figured out and remarked that he was going to tell his dad about Fenway Park next time he saw him. When the bus came and we got on he sat down next to an older gentleman and told him all he knew about Fenway park. The person was a bit confused at first but was a good sport and nodded and smiled in all the right places. The person, whose name I haven’t yet found out, was very pleased with himself and went on to share his new information with a couple other people on the way after we switched buses. If I were to go back to a car I think I’d really miss those sorts of moments which happen to me rather more than you might imagine.

It is for that reason that I have a love-hate relationship with my mp3 player and books. On the one hand, I love the distraction. I love having a soundtrack to my day and I love how I have my routine of various things that I listen to at various times. I also like to read and miss reading when it has been more than a few days. On the other hand, both of those items, particularly when done together, effectively isolate me from the rest of the city.

That reminds me. After living in a big city for a couple years now I am finding that I am slowly but surely becoming much less self-conscious and a little more outgoing. I am way more likely to start a conversation with a stranger now than when I first got here. I am also more likely to move to whatever music is on my mp3 player. I am guessing it has to do with the fact that I am becoming more comfortable here and am beginning to appreciate the anonymity to the point where I don’t feel nearly as stressed about what others think. I’m probably to the point now where most people always have been (shyness has always been one of my main traits). But as I grow older, particularly in the city, that is slowly but surely changing. Hell, I think by the time I retire I’ll be ready to entertain passengers on the
bus with my fine gospel singing.

Thanks, Hunter

Some days you wake up and feel like writing a political rant. The kind that gets to the heart of the matter and sums up everything that’s been pissing you off for the past I don’t know how long. And then you find out that Hunter over at daily kos already wrote it for you.

New Podcast is up

Podcast may be found here
(note that the xml feed will not be updated until tomorrow – Sage is asleep and I don’t remember exactly how to do it and don’t want to screw everything else up trying to do it for myself)

I’ve finally taken the time to play with Sage’s new recording gear and put together a music podcast. I don’t do a great deal of talking but let the music speak for itself and what a great job of speaking it does. A few preliminary notes. All but one song is hip-hop and as a result you may hear some words you wouldn’t dare use at work. That said, I believe it was George Carlin that talked about it being the intent behind the words that makes them “bad words”. In other words, things like ’stupid’, ‘kill’, and ‘war’ are way worse than anything you’d be bleeped for on the radio. Anyway – here’s a list of all you will hear:

When the Floods Come – by Emcee Lynx
Hurricane Katrina – by the Dope Poet Society
George Bush Doesn’t Care about Black People and Damn, it was all good just a week ago by K-Otix
Hell No, We Ain’t Alright and God Pt. I by Public Enemy
Bin Laden by Immortal Technique and Green Lantern (fyi – some of Immortal Technique’s work can be a bit less than p.c. – in my opinion he is very hit and miss)
Nation of Assholes by Disenfranchised Music

You might also want to check out other free anti-war/anti-Bush administration songs.

Further outrage…

Check this out – I’m speechless.

Today’s outrage – Keeping Up Appearances

So I saw this story (warning – it is pretty disturbing) developing over the past couple of days and at first it looked as if things were going to be addressed and investigated right away. Well, after a couple days the answer is actually (to use the words of former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleisher) “That’s a big no.“

I think one of the most outrage inspiring (I hesitate to use the word outrageous as that word doesn’t really convey the idea of inspiring outrage anymore) points is that the military’s answer to this is to ban cameras and PCs by the military. To me this sends a clear message – stop taking pictures of it – don’t stop doing it. The big worry is that it might cause a backlash in the middle east. This has been the approach of the defense department (maybe they should go back to calling it the Department of War) all along. Not “don’t do bad things” but “maintain the appearance of righteousness”. It started with the banning of the photos of the coffins of the war dead, went on to the prisoner abuse issues (it’s only a few rogue soldiers, right? Not if you talk to Cpt. Ian Fishback), and now with this response it is obvious that the idea is that the mistake is getting caught, not in actually committing the atrocities.

And for something apolitical and cheerful

Think of all the neighbours you’ll meet if you’re out walking your pet tortoise!

Early to bed…

While I intended to write an entry and maybe even do a podcast last night I didn’t get too far on either. Monday night I was feeling particularly inspired musically speaking and futzed around with the keyboard and before I knew it it was 1:00 in the morning – about 4 1/2 hours before I needed to wake up and get ready for work. If that wasn’t enough, I was pretty wired from all that I had been working on. Not only that, Harriet decided that she wanted to yell loudly for quite some time. I am guessing it may have been 1:30 before I actually got to sleep. And though I set my alarm for 6:30, an hour later than I usually set it for, I woke up at my usual time. I felt surprisingly good all day until I got home. Fortunately, Sage consciously or unconsciously anticipated how I was feeling and a DVD of “A Series of Unfortunate Events” (fabulous movie btw), and a frozen pizza were ready to go. So we lounged about on the couch, eating pizza and watching the movie. Once fed, it all caught up to me and I was dozy before too long. Finally at about 8:30 the movie was over and I was unable to stay awake any longer. Though I slept rathehr fitfully, I did manage to sleep until well after 6:00 and probably got nine good hours of sleep. Quite a bit more than I usually do. How’s that for a long-winded excuse?

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In political news, it looks as if Tom Delay is being indicted. I think that it was a funny coincidence that before I heard that news, I heard “Big Business” by Dilated Peoples for the first time. The opening lyrics caught my ear (is that even a real expression? Works for me):

I pledge resistance to the grass
that hides the snakes of America
so they watch it, now I walk with caution
more careful put more thought to options
Is the opposite of progress Congress?

It looks as if Bill Frist – the Senate majority leader is also on the same track. Apparently he’s been taking investment pointers from Martha Stewart.

It was funny. I do most of my political chatting with a coworker of mine. Usually I stop by his desk in the morning and give him the outrageous news item of the day (scary, eh? Every day there is an outrageous (as in outrage inspiring) story to pass on – usually more than one) and then we chat for a few minutes. Today, though, he didn’t wait for me. As he walked by my desk he just started in. He saw Michael Brown’s testimony on CNN and was shocked at the level of his agression. Then he moved on to the Daily Show’s discussion of nepotism in the US government. Let me say again, it is really nice not to be the only liberal in the office. It is also quite funny to have come from the US where the term ‘liberal’ is often used as an insult and am now here where ‘Liberal’ means Liberal and speaks for most of the people in Ontario if not quite the majority of Canadians. Lunch conversations at work, while often edging over into Benny Hill territory are likely to end up in discussions intended to solve world problems. Today, for example, we figured out all that needed to be done to improve air quality and traffic in downtown Toronto. Large, and free parking garages need to be made at each end of the subway and other major points on the system. From there, we need to issue resident stickers to everyone who lives south of Bloor between Bathurst and Parliament. People without a sticker would not be allowed to drive downtown. Cars would be banned from either King or Queen street as well as other areas such as Kensington Market. We can hope, anyway.

What’s next?

Hey – so it looks like Michael Brown, former director of FEMA who was responsible for the botched efforts surrounding Hurricane Katrina has a hew job. Apparently after he was relieved of duty and pulled back to Washington, DC and then resigned, they took him back on as a contractor. His responsibility? To evaluate FEMA’s response to Hurricane Katrina.

By that same logic, perhaps Lynndie England (note – disturbing photos included in that wikipedia entry) should be contracted to investigate what happened at Abu Ghraib?

Cindy Sheehan’s Arrest

I wrote this on the bus last night and meant to post this last night but got sidetracked making music and never opened my laptop after I got home. Anyway – here it is…Sorry for the delay.

Well, a quick look on my links sidebar will give away the news. I’m breaking my news blackout. I’ve been curious about what’s going on. Not not only that, I’m once again going to be Charlie Brown to the media’s Lucy and yet again allow myself to get optimistic about the possibility for at least some small changes. I hinted about it before, and in today’s entry, Sage also mentioned that there is seriously waning support for the Iraq war and further support for the resistance to the war. And I’m really glad to see that happening.

Today, I saw that Cindy Sheehan got arrested. On the one hand, some people are outraged. On the other hand, I’m encouraged on a bunch of levels. First off, it shows me that high profile people are no longer afraid of civil disobedience to the point of arrest. Hey, I admit it – I’m going to protests but at this point I really would be afraid of going so far as to get myself arrested. But it is good to see that others are not. It is that level of devotion to the cause that is going to bring others out and provide the energy for continued resistance. Perhaps we’ve reached a tipping point. There was a point, for example, in the resistance to the American war in Vietnam where there was daily civil disobedience to the point that one demonstration resulted in over 14,000 people being arrested. Other forms of civil disobedience – interfering with recruitment among them, ended up getting people sentenced for up to ten years in prison. I think that this level of dedication is required. The neo-conservatives won’t let a little dissent stop them. They’ve shown that poor public opinion alone cannot keep them from doing what they want. It’s time to up the ante. And yes, I realize that I am being more than a little hypocritical saying this having moved away from the US. Do note, though, that one of the side effects of my moving here is that the US has no rights to any of my income here unless I earn more than $85K/yr US which won’t happen any time soon. In other words, our 2003 taxes were over $10,000 – much of that supporting causes and people that I abhor. As for our 2004 taxes? We not only had to pay nothing, the taxes for the four days I worked in the US before moving here are also due back to me. And we still vote. Most importantly, we’re on a track towards getting our Canadian citizenship at which point we have given our son a very important option – the option to give up his US citizenship in the face of a draft.

Anyway – back to Cindy Sheehan – I’m also encouraged by the fact that the fact that she was arrested means that the administration is getting a bit nervous about her. She’s garnering too much support and in their opinion, the anti-war movement needs to be put in its place.

I am somewhat astonished, however, at the so-called patriots who are speaking out against her. Some even go so far as to point out that she wouldn’t have the right to speak as she does in other countries that the US has “liberated”. Well if that’s the case, perhaps they should step back and respect this person exercising their right to exercise their freedom of speech even if it is different than your own opinion.

And I am maddened by the people who accuse her of taking advantage of her son’s death for the anti-war cause. That is absurd. Her son’s death brought the reality of war home to her in a way that she felt she had to do something. Nobody accuses people who have family members who died of cancer taking advantage of their relative’s death to promote cancer research when before they were apathetic about giving to the Cancer society. First-hand experience is a true motivator and the suggestion that this is some calculated publicity stunt is absurd – particularly when the accusations of a group of people who have used the 9/11 attacks as a political tool for over four years now. Perhaps that is where the idea that she is pulling a publicity stunt comes from – that for the likes of Karl Rove there would be no other use for such an event except to push one’s pre-existing ideologies and plans. It’s simple – this is a parent who lost her child to an illegal war waged under false pretenses and wants to save other parents the same loss. As a parent I can totally understand that and sympathize myself.

On a rainy day

So on an informal email list I’ve been on for about ten years (it actually evolved from #ecto over on irc), a friend of mine suggested that we look at this game. I warn you, though, it is very odd, but strangely compelling and compellingly strange.